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When Its All Said and Done

It has been maybe a year or so since I have written a blog. Since recovering from surgery it’s been as if I have got off one rollercoaster and stepped onto another. 

As we have all come out of coronavirus restrictions it's been amazing to see the world get back to 'normal' I see my friends and family on social media posting their adventures and I am filled with joy seeing everyone have enjoyment. 


I to have tried to get out more, having to isolate myself for nearly a year and a half was difficult, being able to see and spend time with friends and family was so important for my mental health. I decided to start dating again and found someone with who I connected. I enjoyed having someone to speak to and spend time going on dates whilst having intellectual conversations was good to have once again. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. The time spent after the 'break up' really hit me hard, it has been maybe two months since that relationship ended and it still makes me sad it didn’t work out, but I have tried to remember that everything happens for a reason, and again I have learnt a lot about myself and relationships in general.


Growing up seeing long-lasting relationships was rare, now I am 24 I have been able to see some examples of real love and the change has been weird. It's amazing to see the people around me happy meeting their life partners and spending the rest of the time enjoying life with their soulmates. It gives me a sense of relief knowing that family members are taken care of and being shown love, knowing that the women in my family have always been very independent, I’m sure the change of them being looked after may also be a weird experience. 


The women in my family have always been great examples of people who just get on and do things for themselves, I have always taken encouragement from them and how they have lived their lives, strong independent business-minded people, who are also very loving.


Whilst going through my surgery and the things going on in the world with coronavirus it felt as if they put their lives on hold, making sure that I was ok and being looked after. It must have been a crazy, daunting experience for them. It is important to me that they are looked after too.


Looking back at some of my last blogs, health-wise everything was looking great, but recently I have been unsure about what my body is doing. Since April this year (2021) I have been struggling with symptoms of colitis, going to the toilet lots again, I have been on high doses of steroids to keep it under control, but this is also taking a toll on other parts of my body, I had noticed a change in my mood and sleeping pattern.


Sleep is generally a thing I don't get and this causes problems for other aspects of life. I had been receiving abnormal Liver blood results too, this scares me most as having the liver transplant I was sure things would be improving not reminding the same. I haven't spoken about it much to friends or family and I think this is the reason I am back writing blogs, I needed an outlet I’ve been very emotional as I don’t know what to do. Following advice from health professionals has seemed to get me only so far, praying and keeping faith is truly the hardest thing. Fighting an illness you have no control over is tiring and I’ve had a lot of “giving up days”. 


In the last blog, I spoke about how I was nervous and unsure how it would be for me to go back to work, I have been able to start working again in a job that I am enjoying. I am pleased to be in a field I have always had a passion to work, I have had the opportunity to work with young people and try to have an impact on their life decisions trying to help them to stay on the straight and narrow. I have been able to work with some amazing colleagues who have years of experience and who see the value in the work that is being done and help me to grow and learn myself. Putting my head down and working has helped me to continue fighting. 


The young people I have been interacting with at work have some truly inspiring stories, seeing them as they are now and hearing where some of them have come from it inspires me to keep going. I have always known that there is always someone in the world who may be in a position that is worse than myself, and the events going on in the world is a clear example of that. 


Being able to see the people around me doing great things, living life happily, and generally at peace with where there are has encouraged me to work on myself and learn to be content with who I am and where I am in my current position in life. I have learned to understand that health-wise I will always have ups and downs but it's important to enjoy the life that I have as it's the only one I have. Life has proven to have its twists and turns, but it is up to me as an individual to live the life that I have to its fullest!



Love and Guidance 


Keiran x 


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